“To the Lesbians I Saw Showing Affection in Public” by Alyse

To the lesbians I saw showing affection in public,


Thank you

I can not stress the amount of pure joy I feel 

Seeing myself represented 

In a public space






I shake away from PDA

The explicit hetero love

Forcing me back into my shell

Back into the depths of the closet

Reminding me 

I am an anchovy in a school of goldfish

The rotten apple in the bunch


But you,

You make my life so much easier

Feeding my thin corpse of a body

And teaching me to love my scales

Showing me the rainbow reflected in them when they hit the sun just right


When you 

Hold her hand

Gently stroking the back of it with your thumb

I feel like flying

When you wrap your arm around her

Brushing her hair behind her ear

Before leaning into kiss her

I can barely contain myself

My insides scream wanting to hug you tight for reminding me of my validity

And loving unapologetically 


You see, 

I grew up in a place called ___ 

Where the most queer I saw was the occasional rainbow 

Pinwheel in someone’s garden

My childhood consisted of cartoons 

With copious amounts of violence and sexual innuendo


But not, god forbid, a hint of homosexuality 

So I could start to clue in that 

I don’t like boys


At this point, 

I’m not thirsty for representation

I’m fucking parched


Blessed gays,

You are the reason I came out to my friends and parents

You are the reason I may one day come out publicly

Don’t tell me representation doesn’t matter

You see, I don’t have a problem with myself

I never felt broken

I don’t harbor homophobia

But other people terrify me

I’m terrified of the violence and hate that has been done against people like me for thousands of years

I’m terrified of the statistics

Mountainous levels of bullying, homelessness, murder

I’m terrified to be judged about a piece of my life that isn’t even the most important about me

I’m terrified of not finding love 

Because so many girls like me hide in their cocoons

Unable to spread their wings

How can I find them?


But you blessed gays,

You are beautiful butterflies that don’t see my identity as a grave for my security

But a mound of soil from which you bloom forth roses, violets, daisies

A garden of hope and happiness

You bring sun back into my life

Showing me it is okay to wake up one day

Go outside

And kiss my future girlfriend

No matter where we are

No matter who’s watching


This is about the little girl with wide eyes and a big heart 

In love with the girl in her third grade class

But convinced it means nothing because she has never seen two girls together

This is for her 

Who will be fascinated by the whispers of trans and queer people who inhabit the world

A girl who will grow up to look like the one staring back at me in the mirror


Dear blessed gays,

Thank you for turning any space into a safe space for me

Thank you for hitting me with a truck of relief that I am not alone in this 

And thank you for showing me how to inspire others


I love you.